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Cruise Control to Paradise

The Broad Way

Enter by the narrow gate; for wide is the gate and broad is the way that leads to destruction, and there are many who go in by it. Because narrow is the gate and difficult the way which leads to life, and there are few who find it.
—Matthew 7:13-14

"I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me."
—John 14:6

The strait and narrow way into God’s heavenly Eternal Presence that Jesus described has been roundly and soundly criticized of late. Esteemed “higher critics” and other extremely learned theological scholars of many stripes and colors have taken issue with Jesus’s teaching (and warning) regarding the subject. (Surely, Jesus, there must be other ways to Heaven! Look, we’ve studied the problem, and…well… we’re afraid that you were simply dead wrong!)

The ”New Age Church of the Very Broad Way” has been hard at work devising its own theology regarding the heavenly afterlife and how to get there for quite some time now. Apparently, Jesus meets their approval as long as he… (not ”He”)… sits in the back of the “Religion Bus” and keeps his big mouth shut.

Ever since the 11th Commandment was declared in the late 60’s at Woodstock… (“If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all”)…., God hasn’t been able to get a Word in edgewise!

The “Big Easy Church of All the Groovy Ways” has been handing out directions to Paradise for centuries. But the current crop of Pluralistic Planners has outdone themselves recently. Apparently, the way to Heaven (Nirvana, Bliss, DisneyWorld, Graceland,… Wherever) has been completely mapped out now and,… lo and behold(!)…, it is now so broad and so inclusive and so wide open today that no one could ever get lost at all!

The New Age “Whatever Way” is proving to be extremely popular…It’s got universal appeal.

The “Whatever Way”’s Doctrinal statement and theological postion is simple and straightforward:

Be happy! Have a nice day!
(If Jesus weren’t alive today, He’d be turning over in his grave.)

"...the kindest, gentlest, most loving and compassionate man who ever opened his mouth has warned us with the greatest seriousness, strenuousness and sternness about Hell. That is the irrefutable argument for it."
—Peter Kreeft

Cruise Control to Paradise
(On This Route Six-Sixty-Six)

On this Broad Highway to Heaven,
You may pick, sir, Your Own Way!
Choose whatever Rites most please you,
On this bright and sunny day!

Choose the vehicle that suits you….
Hey, whatever, man, that moves you…
Heaven knows…We’ll all arrive!

Cosmic-Kundalini- Karma?
Cruise Control to Paradise!
All you need is good intentions…
Good intentions will suffice!

Maybe Buddha’s Bus is better!?
Maybe Allah’s your good news?
Maybe Yoga-Yugo’s thrill you….
There’s no way that you can lose!

Have you tried the Craft of Wicca?
Goddess Gaia’s passing lane?
That’s just Nature’s Way to get there!
Worship Earth, Air, Fire and Rain!

Take a spin through Gaia’s Garden…
Top down cruising ‘neath the Moon!
Chanting your way to Nirvana…
Solstice Magik coming soon!

Blessed Be! Man, now you’re truckin’!
Paradise! To each his own!
Drive the Pluralistic Causeway…
Merging spirits…No Speed Zone!

Never mind what Jesus told you…
Disregard that traffic cop!
Who needs all his mumbo-jumbo,
On this FreeWay to the top!?

Disregard Christ’s red light flashing…
Just ignore his wounded hands!
Trust your instincts not The -Gospel,
Trade in Christ’s conversion van.

You can weave your way through traffic…
Driving blind, you see, is “in”!
There’s no Law to pull you over.
On this road, there is no “sin”.

Fill your tank with New Age Gases…
Pluralism’s blended mix,
Drive that Cosmic Christ to Glory
Here on Route Six-Sixty-Six!

Follow your own inclinations…
Tailgate Treasures, Backseat fun!
Come enjoy those worldly pleasures!
Church tradition’s on the run!

There’s no curve that you can’t handle…
No bridge out, no engines blown.
You’re The Boss on Turnpike Freedom,
You’re The King and You alone!

So, trade in that Jesus Clunker.
Give it up!...Put it to bed!
Everybody gets to Heaven!
Never mind what Jesus said!

Lord, the chauffeur that we’re trusting
Looks a lot like Human Pride…
He embraced us in The Garden,
Then he took us for a ride.

Lord, You warned about this Broad way
That the world’s been speeding down…
We’ve been hijacked…Lord, have mercy!
Give us Grace to turn around!

"Christians should not be hostile, they should not hate, they should not judge, and they should not condemn. But they also must not shy away from real Truth and real Christianity. Just because so many have “itching ears” and “will accumulate for themselves teachers to suit their own passions” does not mean Christians should be willing to scratch that itch."
—Erick Erickson

William Lane Craig once posed this question:
"How could an all-Holy and Just God send people to Heaven?"

(Answer: John 3:10-21, Romans 3: 21-26)

Narrow Way...